post university

Comedown and ignorance 

The local paper was out today and said ‘Friends bring you happiness’ – extremely vague but also true. My friends left yesterday and it was like a dominoe effect of the comedown. 

The unexplainable despair kicked up. Unprovoked sadness. Why do I want to cry? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy? Maybe I should get out more, make more effort with people…that will be make me happier…

Obviously, It doesn’t. One thing I think that does help though – exercise. Before I started getting really bad with my depression, I went to the gym fairly regularly and felt quite good for it. I really want to try again. My boyfriend is a gym freak and he suggests it too. He was fairly insensitive about the whole thing last week when I messaged him talking about going back on my medication, for him to reply with ‘or go to the gym’  In fairness, he was just making an alternative for me. I’ve had worst said to me.

‘Cheer up, why do you have to be so miserable all the time?’

‘Have you actually even tried to be in a better mood?’

‘Try positive thinking’

All these comments, I understand. Unsocilited advice. It’s cool. But if your mind seems to be fine-tuned to ‘Tears on demand’ radio station, it’s not quite easy to break through that barrier. 

I’m not actually that sensitive, so I take things with a pinch of salt.  Some people though, you should be cautious with. These comments make me feel like a complete freak. Think, yaknow? 

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