post university

Restless 

Working in retail, it’s lucky to have the weekends off. But i do. Yet I do…nothing.

Yesterday I worked overtime and left after 6 hours because I’ve caught what I assume is the flu, and whined until they let me go, despite the lack of staff. Sorry not sorry. 

And today me and the boyf went for coffee and then food and were back at mine by 3pm and have done absolutely nothing all day. 

I know during the week I totally look forward to these lazy days but my god it’s so boring doing nothing when you can logistically do nothing. I felt so damn agitated today because I couldn’t do anything. My flat mates mum is still here and they’re renovating the garden for some fucking reason, and it’s making me so jealous. 

I want to be able to afford to buy my own furniture and decorate and do all that shit but instead I’ve just put myself back into financial turmoil because…well, it’s me. Boyfriends birthday. Holidays. Everything.

But then whenever I think about doing anything, like, finishing the painting upstairs I just keep thinking about the end product and …what actually is the point. 

What’s the point in finishing painting for my landlord who does nothing to the house to make it nicer? What’s the point in finding some resources for my student when she won’t look at it again and just wants to learn new words? What’s the point in doing exercise, when it’s not magically going to make an over night difference and I’ll just find something else to hate about myself anyway?
Life’s lazy questions 

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